All These Young Wild Boys, You’ll Be the Death of Me

My dearest Bruno Mars, whom I affectionately refer to as my pocket boyfriend (such a cutie), wrote a song upon which I base this post.  The song came out a few years ago now, but I still dance and scream the lyrics whenever it comes on!  “Young Girls”, if you are unaware (although I have no idea how you could not know this song), is about our protagonist who has all these young wild girls around him who entice him, but they ultimately lead him astray.  He knows better of course, but he keeps going back and messing around with these young wild girls who will…yes, you guessed it from the title of this post, will be the death of him.  Bruno babe, I feel you.  Well I should say I feel you NOW.  When the song came out though I really could not relate.  I never really had an issue with younger guys and was quite frankly not interested in younger men.  There was one or two younger guys that I dated, talked to, messed around with (or whatever), but they were exceptions.  All my initial attractions though were really never for younger guys. 

I have a friend…or two…who tend to date pretty much exclusively younger men, but I was pretty much always attracted to older guys.  I just did not get the younger guy thing.  In my mind I figured older guys were better because they were (in theory) more mature, established, done messing around and looking to settle down.  Which means that these older guys would have more to offer me.  Then there was the fact that the couple relationships that I did have with younger guys really did not go well.  So I figured that younger guys were obviously not for me.  Then I thought about it a little more and realized that well…ALL the guys that I have had relationships with, regardless of their age, had not gone well either.  Maybe being younger was not necessarily a bad thing after all, as and where, there are pros and cons to everything. 

So when this young wild boy in my life asked me out for the third time (over the course of several years) I decided to just say yes.  If nothing else he had been extremely persistent, which is one of the sexiest qualities I find in a man and also something I desire in a dude that is interested in me.  I really did not have an instant attraction to him.  I had known him for years and he was very young when I met him.  I thought it was just sweet that he had a little crush on me and super cute that he could barely speak when he was around me.  I found him adorable, but was not really attracted on a physical level.  Do not get me wrong, it was definitely a self confidence boost whenever he was around, but that was really all it was.  Since I did not view him as a possibility, I also did not view him as a threat.  For years really, I just had no interest.  He was nice to me and obviously attracted to me, but I was really just not feeling it.  And then…he surprised me. 

When he asked me out for the third time, we had not seen each other for quite a while.  The first time he asked me out was years before not long after we first met and I just flat out told him he was too young.  That evidently did not crush his soul because he continued to talk to me occasionally and then asked me out a second time a couple years later.  Unfortunately, he caught me in a bad moment as I had literally just been dumped by someone else two days before and just said no that time because…well no, not after a breakup.  I am telling you though, this guy would not be defeated!  Maybe another year or so after that we ran into each other again.  He asked me out for the third time and I realized that if this guy was STILL trying after years and a couple rejections, I could not say no.  I wanted to at least see what was going on in this young wild boy’s head.  He did a little research and took me to one of my favorite spots and within 30 minutes of the date I realized something - I actually did like him!  Not only did I like him, but I was attracted to him!!!  What?!?!  I was shocking myself!  I had always just thought he was a young wild boy.  Then all the sudden on that date I looked at him and nope, he was definitely a man…a grown and sexy man who I was attracted to! 

I ultimately decided that relationship was not going to work out for other reasons outside of age (we will just leave that right there for now).  A couple months later I decided to bite the bullet and go on a dating app.  I had done a couple dating websites before so I was wary to try an app, but I figured things were not working out in these streets so I may as well try the dating app thing.  I do not know what it was after I signed up, but all these young boys kept popping up!  The only guys that had anything of quality to say and were approaching me were AT LEAST five years younger than me…if not more.  I mean the guy that asked me out three times had also been in the “if not more” category, so I guess I should not have been that surprised that all these young wild boys were coming up – but I was (and I still am for the record).  Not only were these young wild boys popping up, I was actually semi-interested in some of them (at least for a hot moment before I deleted the app and swore off all dating apps for the time being). 

So that begs the question - when did become a cougar?!  Does anyone else have this problem?  I am only in my mid-thirties…I am like a good ten years off from cougar status, right…RIGHT?!  People I am going to need some affirmation on this that I am not a cougar because I am a wild young one myself!!!  You cannot be a cougar if you are a young wild one too!  I mean granted, I am not as young as I once was (no one is) and I am not as wild as I once was (praise Jesus), but I still got that youth and spice going for me.  It just blows my mind that all the sudden there are all these young wild boys that I am attracted to. 

Statistically speaking, the older I get there will be less single men available who are my age or older…because they are in fact married and thus unavailable.  Personally I am not amazing at math and statistical analysis, but this much I do understand.  Goodness though, these young boys really are coming out of the woodwork.  Am I giving off a looking for a younger, stronger, virile man type of vibe?  Maybe I am.  Honestly those attributes do not sound so bad now that I have typed them out.  Now I am confused.  I just want to drink wine, eat a whole pizza and a pint of ice cream (the good kind) to figure this situation out.  Oh wait, I cannot do that because then all these young wild boys will not be checking for me like they are now!!!  Back to kale, sweet potatoes and grass fed whatever alongside my gym routine (pretty sure that is also what cougar’s do…but we are not going to talk about that right now).  I guess I should be flattered that these young wild boys are coming to the yard (do they even know about Kelis…they are probably too young to know)!?  Probably what I should be is grateful for genetics, a gym membership, paleo food, SPF, anti-aging cream and getting noticed.  I AT LEAST need these young wild boys to be flirting with me in the meantime while I figure out why they are coming out of seemingly nowhere.

Side note:  I will tell you this much, if one more of these young wild boys says to me, “age is just a number”, they might get knocked out.  Like cold knocked out to the ground because each and every one of them has said it.  The fact of the matter is that age is not just a number.  Age is the number of years that you have resided on this planet and the concurrent number of years that you have had experiences, which have molded and shaped your understanding of the world.  When I am 77 and the man I am with is 70 I guess it will not be that dramatic of a difference.  Right now though, these ones in their 20’s…that seems like a lifetime of differences.  Am I wrong?  Tell me if I am wrong.  Here is why I think I am not wrong though - personally from my late twenties to now I feel like I have lived more of life and have had more happen than in the first twenty years of life combined.  So to me that was a time of huge change, learning and growth!  It is difficult to explain that though to someone who has yet to go through that very same stage of life.  How do you tell someone that they have no idea how much life is going to throw at them over the next few years (that is if it is even their time to go through that yet, it could be later on)?  On the flip side though, I guess someone can be significantly younger and have been through hell and back in their life.  If that is the case, then that would in turn make them more mature, cultured and aware.  With that said - did I just cancel my whole argument?!  Maybe, but I still do not know if I can mess with these young wild boys!  What do you guys think?

All in all, I have been praying for my husband for a long time.  Never once did I pray about his age, nor am I going to start now.  When this man shows his face there will be so many other factors that are going to be more important than his age for him to fit the husband role.  I just obviously have to work on younger being a possibility over an unlikelihood.  Just add it to my list of issues to work on!  In the meantime, pray for your girl and pray for all these young wild boys.  They probably will not be the death of me after all.

Scripture:

 “One look my way and I was hopelessly in love!
How beautiful your love, dear, dear friend—
    far more pleasing than a fine, rare wine,
    your fragrance more exotic than select spices.
The kisses of your lips are honey, my love,
    every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor.”

Song of Solomon 4:10-11 MSG (Yep, that is in the Bible.  Check that whole book out for yourself it gets steamier!)

“There are three things that amaze me—no, four things that I don’t understand:

how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.” Proverbs 30:18-19 NLT

“An excellent wife who can find?
 She is far more precious than jewels.” Proverbs 31:10 ESV

 “No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.” Ephesians 5:29-33 MSG