K – Kegels

Kegels?!?!?  This girl...I know, I know you are already done with me right now.  The funny thing is, you are reading this post though - so that means you must be intrigued.  Did you know that Kegels are not just for women, men should do them too?  For real, look it up (or just look at the link in the resources section I added for you).  Disclaimer:  if you do not know what Kegels are…this would be the optimal time to just go ahead and quickly research that, otherwise all the rest of this may not make any sense.  So all that to say this post is for everyone!  Kegels are an exercise that I actually do because they are good for you, but they are also one of those things that I probably do not do frequently enough.  For the purpose of this post though, Kegels are really just serving as a metaphor for all the things that I should be doing and that I am either not doing at all or not doing enough.  There are so many things that fall into that category really - so many things!!! 

I beat myself up about all things that I should be doing that I am not.  Eating cleaner (even when I am eating really well), working out harder (even though I am already working out on the regular), getting more sleep (even though I probably get plenty because I do not have kids or a husband), drinking less wine (even when I have just completed a 30-day cleanse with absolutely no alcohol), reading my Bible more (even though I usually read it throughout the week) and writing more (obviously I write because you are reading this, I am a blogger after all, but not writing as much as I want is what I mean).  I just never feel like I am doing enough.  It does not matter if I do Kegels once a year or once a day, I feel like I need to do those more - just like with everything else.  There are just not enough hours in the day we tell ourselves.  Time flies by and we just do not get done everything that we have set out to accomplish.  It is true, we cannot do it ALL.  The reality and the problem is that we can probably do more – we know we can do more.  For example, instead of binging on 7 episodes of "The Bold Type" while looking for writing gigs, I probably should just write instead.  Or actually applying for those freelance jobs instead of just watching a show about another person writing.  Do not get me wrong, I apply plenty and I write plenty, but it is in those moments of vegetation that I really get down on myself.

So, what is my problem exactly?  It is not like I am doing nothing and need to completely revamp my life.  I am doing a lot of what I need to be doing and want to be doing, but it is that margin that kills me.  That I am just not doing enough.  I cannot get my 10,000 hours of blogging in if I am at the gym.  I cannot get my 10,000 hours of cardio if I am reading my Bible.  I cannot get my 10,000 hours of devotions and meditation completed if I am looking up paleo recipes on Pinterest.  I cannot get the 10,000 hours of cooking clean meals done if I am writing.  Vicious cycle – trying to do it all at maximum capacity and realizing that I am, in fact, a human with limited bandwidth.  Then there is the fact that I am a big fan of sleeping and self-care, cannot do those and become the outlier Gladwell told me to be.  What is the solution?  Settle for mediocrity because I cannot do it all, since I am a human and not an android?  Or do I strive for excellence and inevitably disappoint myself when I end up with less than 10,000 hours (I seriously read this book like eight years ago and obviously it still haunting my existence. The reference for the book is in the resources section if you would like to commiserate with me)?  Neither of those seem like good options.

What is the solution to my Kegel crisis?  Being complete in Christ.  May or may not have been what you expected, but that is the moral of my story today.  Relying on God for what I need, what I strive toward, what I desire and what I believe I am called to do.  Not just relying on myself and my limited human ability or on getting my 10,000 hours toward where I am trying to go.  Without Christ my 10,000 hours might get me to expert status, but will not get me to full satisfaction.  Without Christ my efforts will amount to something and maybe even epic levels of something, but it will never fill my empty soul spots.  If I have learned nothing from all the geniuses, bosses, creatives, innovators and celebrities who have left us too soon, it is that I will never be truly completed by any accomplishment or milestone.  Those who have attempted to fill the void in their lives with any of the array of God substitutes have only fallen into the pit of despair.  Many of us have been there.  Been to that place where the answer to not living up to what we expect of ourselves and our lives leads us to a place where we think the whole would be better without us or simply that we would be better without this world.  Not to get dark on you my friends at the end of the Kegel post because Lord knows that THIS of all posts should be a little lighthearted if nothing else! 

That is what it is though.  We can try to do it all, but we actually cannot.  We will be disappointed with what we are able do and what success has to offer, even if the rest of the world thinks we are killing the game!  We compare, we have expectations and because of that, we never are really satisfied with any of it.  Relying on what God has so graciously provided in Him and not in myself is really the only thing that gets me through.  We do not have it, we cannot do it, but He can.  I mean…we cannot even do Kegels the way we want to!!!  How are we going to do any of the rest of it without Him?  I will never get to the magically human level of complete fulfillment in this world because it does not exist.  We live in a flawed and broken world.  We will kill ourselves trying to keep up with the Jones’ (or Kardashian’s).  That is why I think I will always be striving for more, wanting more and desiring more.  God gives us that drive for more because this is not all there is!  This world, these things, these efforts and successes - there is so much more.  We were made for much, but we were made most to honor Him and not ourselves.  When I am doing what God calls me to and honoring Him through it, that is when the struggle with alpha K and everything else are most under control and not controlling me.  We work to keep it tight, but we need Christ to keep us right.  Yep, I went there and I think God has a sense of humor too.  Otherwise why would He have made a girl who blogs about Kegels!

Resources:

Gladwell, Malcolm.  Outliers: The Story of Success.  Little, Brown and Company.  2008.

Stang, Debra and Debra Rose Wilson PhD, MSN, RN, IBCLC, AHN-BC, CHT.  “Kegel Exercises”. 

Healthline. September 13, 2017.  https://www.healthline.com/health/kegel-exercises#cautions

Scriptures:

“I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness
    in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
    Take heart. Don’t quit.
I’ll say it again:
    Stay with God.”

Psalm 27:13-14 (MSG)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding;
think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.”

Proverbs 3:5 (HCSB)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry.”

Matthew 11:28-30 (NET)

“But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.”

1 Timothy 6:6-7 (ESV)