H – Happiness
The pursuit of happiness. It is the goal of so many millions of people on the planet – to find happiness. I guess that is why it is called the pursuit of happiness and not the acquisition thereof. Does happiness exist? What is happiness? If you obtain your definition of happiness, are you happy for the rest of your life? Does your definition of happiness change once you acquire it, if you ever acquire it? Life is marred with devastation and sadness. We are promised that life will be difficult, so why is our pursuit happiness? How can our goal and purpose be happiness if we know on a day to day basis that happiness is not consistent? Happiness on a daily basis cannot exist for a couple reasons. One is that there are frankly just circumstances beyond our control in this world that will affect our barometer of happiness. Another reason is because of situations that arise because of our decisions and our choices – our consequences. I do not know about you, but I am generally not happy about consequences. Accepting of the consequences and outcomes of my actions, sure, but happy – most definitely not. So the question remains, why is happiness the goal? Power of positivity is such an acceptable life philosophy at this time and place in our society. If you think positive and good thoughts, then positivity and good thoughts will come your way. Does positive thinking eliminate difficulty? Do good thoughts prevent disaster and pain? Negativity does beget negativity, to be sure, but is the reverse always true? Does positivity always beget positivity? More to my question, does positivity always equate to happiness?
Happiness is an emotion, it is fluid. Happiness is not a state of being, it is a state of feeling. I should have a doctorate degree in emotions. Emotions are such a huge part of my life, both in the negative and in the positive. My emotions shape my life not only on a daily basis, but on a moment by moment basis. I can wake up and feel amazing, but by the time the water for my tea is done heating up I am in tears. Once my tea steeps, my tears have turned into laughter. Then bottom of my cup brings irritation and discontentment. All these emotions, plus the array of emotions in between, change my attitude, they change how I interact with people and also what my reactions will be. Getting into these different mind frames happen so quickly. In the span of literally minutes, I am capable of experiencing dozens of emotions. One of those emotions – happiness. Why is happiness the emotion so many people strive to obtain and maintain? Obviously, we are not able to experience a consistent emotion for long periods of time (well, at least I clearly cannot). I realize that some of you may believe I am fully whacked because of how many emotions I can feel so quickly, which I actually completely understand because I get sick of me and my emotional tidal waves throughout the day. Even if you are only a fraction of an emotional being as a human, you do still experience a barrage of emotions over the course of time. Why would you strive just for the one, happiness? Does the obsession of our species with happiness mean that we do not enjoy any other emotion? Happiness has layers as well; such as, contentment, joy, calm and peace, but those each hold their own dynamic and cannot be limited to the emotion of happiness. For instance, you can experience contentment, joy, calm and peace without being happy. I have experienced all of those emotions when I have been sad, disappointed and confused. Then there is the fact that individual definitions differ from person to person what happiness is. How can the human race become happy if everyone is striving for a different version of what happiness is to them?
My goal maybe a little surprising to some because the goal that I strive for in life is not happiness. Happiness is a struggle of mine because it is a nice thought. Nice thoughts become battle grounds of envy, jealousy and discontentment. Happiness sounds great, but you all know by now I am messy. My life is not pretty and I know your life is not pretty either all of the time, whether or not anyone knows that except you. When I covet one emotion; in this case happiness, I will inevitably be let down. Where is the positivity then? Now, I do not knock those who practice the power of positive thinking or synergy, I am just questioning. I think it is important to question, in my faith we are encouraged to question our beliefs and really get to know what we truly believe. There is a huge chunk of reality missing in the practice of positivity for me. I respect that people want their lives to go well according to their plan and they like to feel responsible for their success when they do obtain those good things. Life is not pretty though, it is tough, there are real challenges and real difficulties for every single person on this planet. When someone wills everything to be great and then when things are not great, what then? Do you then blame yourself for not thinking happy enough thoughts? If so, then why do we not strive for a different purpose than happiness?
Even though I have my moments of striving for happiness because we all fall into the happiness trap, happiness is still not my goal. What is your goal then Holly? Thanks for asking guys ;) My goal is to grow. To take every single situation and maximize my understanding. Everything has a purpose. Every situation has a lesson. Every situation is working on your character and who you really are. Is it easy to see the bigger picture and grow through every situation? No. Why? Frankly, because growth is painful. There can be elements of happiness in the growth to be sure and I, for one, am so thankful for those reprieves during a time of stretching. Happiness is an easy emotion, I think that is why people strive for happiness. Tell me that not hilarious?! We strive, sweat, toll and work extremely hard to achieve an easy emotion. Easy to obtain, not easy to keep though – that is the punch line. There is not a ton of growth in happiness alone. Happiness is pretty static and it is very temporary. Why strive for temporary? Growth builds and compounds. My time on this earth is very short in the grand scheme of the universal plan, so I do not want to strive for a temporary emotion in happiness. Happiness alone is a futile goal and is the fatal flaw of so many. Growth in every moment daily, trusting God has a greater purpose for all the struggles, striving for Him in each one of the moments, becoming more and more like who He desires me to be – those are my goals. They are not easy goals, they are difficult. In fact, they are very difficult goals. I guess that is the point of a lifelong goal, if they were easy, we would have already achieved them. If we already achieved our lifelong goal, what would we strive for in the remainder of our lives? In the growth, I will experience all of the emotions. Happiness will be one of them, but the kaleidoscopic collage of all of the emotions will make the journey more beautiful and far more fulfilling.
“But [Jesus] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV
“These are the wise sayings of Solomon,
David’s son, Israel’s king—
Written down so we’ll know how to live well and right,
to understand what life means and where it’s going;
A manual for living,
for learning what’s right and just and fair;
To teach the inexperienced the ropes
and give our young people a grasp on reality.
There’s something here also for seasoned men and women,
still a thing or two for the experienced to learn—
Fresh wisdom to probe and penetrate,
the rhymes and reasons of wise men and women.”
Proverbs 1:1-6 MSG